Headline: New York City Official Accused Of Possessing Animal-Level Intelligence

Cary, NC (RPS) -- Outspoken critic and editorialist Quintin Stone blasted New York City Public Advocate Mark Green for comments that the deranged city official made in relation to the NRA's Eddie Eagle program. Despite the fact that the cartoonish mascot only tells children if they see a gun to "STOP! Don't touch! Leave the area! Tell an adult!", Mark Green (not the popular ER character on NBC) vehemently attacked the video. "I think they [the members of the NRA] are morally and legally responsible for thousands of deaths a year, in a sense, in our city and our country, and they should not be anywhere near our kids talking about guns."

"I mean, what a fucking idiot," Mr. Stone responded when he heard this quote. "It's bad enough that he starts out by putting forth a legal supposition that is almost laughable in its absurdity, but then he goes on to suggest that children should exist in some kind of informational void. He epitomizes the ignorant and dangerous idea that what we don't know can't hurt us. Even rabid dogs have more sense than that."

Quintin Stone's comments were posted to his personal website soon after he'd read the original CCN article that contained Mark Green's remark. "I mean, this is the kind of mindless simpleton that attacks a rational attempt to keep children safe because he doesn't like the source. It's politics in its ugliest form. My guess is that this guy would try to ban seatbelts if he discovered that Hitler wore them. Guess what: he probably did. Better get cracking!"

Noted internet personality and No-bell Prize winner Bad Mojo had this to say: "The video tells young kids not to touch guns. Apparently Mark Green wants to tell children that they should pick up and play with a loaded gun if they see one. I'd like to castrate him with a pair of vice-lock pliers. That ought to take him out of the gene pool."

New York City Public Advocate supplied no comment, as he was not asked to.